Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Blog Without Obligation

I am reminding myself that my commitment to blog without obligation (the raven badge on the right... BWO) is what I really believe. It's o.k. to say what you have to say, and write as often or as infrequently as you want. So the fact that I haven't posted in days is fine and whatever I want to write about it fine too. No one has to read it, right?

It's so important to me to be authentic even as I monitor myself so as not to share too much personal info with the world wide web community. I have noticed that I feel anxious when people tell me that they read my blog and my life seems so idyllic. That causes me to pause and reflect. My life IS idyllic in many respects, but it's also filled with chaos at times. Why do I feel somehow guilty when I receive feedback about a life that is idyllic? Guilt is about doing something wrong. I haven't done anything wrong, but I always feel like I should apologize as if I am somehow fooling people. I think the bottom line is I am taking myself a little too seriously, and one of these days I will stop that! A blog can only reveal a sliver of my life. Life is complex and chaotic, but I enjoy focusing on the quieter moments in my blog. My friend said she enjoyed cozying up with my blog as if she was sharing a nice cup of tea (or something like that.)

Our trip out west was a roller coaster ride. There were plenty of great moments, but plenty of not so great ones. The worst was that I got some nasty stomach bug and only made it to an hour of my sister's wedding. I spent that day in the hotel room wishing I were home (or dead) and then the evening of the wedding crying because I was not a part of a fantastic party (by all accounts that I've heard.) It sucked. It was the bug that just kept on giving, and I could not tough it out in the presence of others. Ugh... life!

I gave my class their first mid term exam. It was also my first exam that I have ever composed. I told them it was way harder to write a test than it is to study for one. They just rolled their eyes, and gave me lots of groans. What? It wasn't an insensitive remark! I SWEAR it is way harder to write a test... who would have known?

I hope to get back to sewing this week, or maybe a run... we'll see. I have plenty of tests to grade. Oh, by the way, this photo... It's a rose in our garden that has been blooming since early summer. It just keeps on giving, too. Isn't that just the best when it's a rose and not a tummy bug?

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