Do you ever have days where you are just dragging? It can be really hard to keep putting one foot in front of the other when you have kids. The saving grace in having kids is that there's no way to stay down for long. I've found that when I'm really down (with a cold, with life circumstances, with those monthly hormonal shifts), I simply must pull myself up, cruddy mood and all, and put on a smiling face. This I call my "fake it till you make it" life skill.
A few days ago, on a particularly rotten morning my friend brought her daughter over to play. On that day, even my "fake it till you make it" strategy was not winning out. I just wanted to sit down and have a good cry, not break up sibling arguments and wrestling matches. Now I have learned over time that my friends (and my sisters) are a must. Even though I'm an introvert at heart and can go days without talking to anyone, these relationships are the thing that keeps my soul full. I need the hugs, the shared stories, the camaraderie, and yes, all the special little gifts that friendships bring to my life. On this morning, it was a tangible gift. A lovely little journal that she made for me. Isn't it beautiful? I love, love, love it. Unlined pages, moleskin, and fabric. So of course, I hugged her and cried. This was the view from our property some time last week; we had snow. It is not where we live, but where we wish to build. A dream that we keep visualizing. Some days it feels very possible, other days it seems a fairytale. Nonetheless, it is an amazing (and private) place to hike.
Within days after this snow we had temperatures in the mid 60's. My daughter and I could not resist getting our hands dirty in the garden. We planted potatoes, spinach, spring lettuce, arugula, beets, and carrots. Some of it will need row covers because the deep freezes are not over. Still, I'll take these temperatures for now. Every little promise of rebirth is good enough for me.