Camp Mommy

She only gets one camp during the summer.... it's been that way since she was old enough to attend a program. Our little guy? Next year will be his time. It's what we can afford, so the onus has always fallen on me to stimulate their creative minds and meet their needs. We have a pool membership and that gets lots of energy out in the first part of the day. (That we've done for 6 years... no regrets and $ well spent.) So what do we do every afternoon? There are play dates here and there, but then there's "Camp Heather."

This summer it has been playing board/card games, sewing, artwork, reading, building with Lego's. My little guy still gets some quiet time most days, which often results in him falling asleep. (We all need a break from his exuberance.) It's funny how now that I'm working and putting my energy towards other people's children (doing therapy), I'm valuing this time with my own kids so much more this summer. There was a time, not too long ago, when big chunks of summer were grueling for me. I was often short tempered with two young kids for long hours, and sorely in need of some time to myself. I find myself stressed by different things now.... work, schedules, logistics. I make time for myself by rising at 5:30 a.m. and running. I crave time at home with just our family. I sometimes don't want to talk to anybody; I just want to escape from the problems and business of the world. I have to take deep breaths even more often these days, but it's in an effort to keep up with the pace of our busy schedule.


When did it all shift? I missed the delineating moment. Here we are, eight years later, and time spent with her in the afternoons is what can be so settling for me. Swimming in the pool with him can be the thing that brings joy to my day. Pinch me. It's all going too fast. Still, I'm far from perfect and one exhausted mommy at the end of every day. I want to hang on to it all and I'm driven to live every moment, even the difficult ones. My, what full moments they have been. How lucky I am to be at home with them, working part-time and not full-time. I remind myself every time I feel tired, stressed, or envious of others. I have a good life, indeed.... yes, I do.

Summertime sewing

In between eating from our garden, working part-time, pool visits, running, and bike riding with the kids, I've been fitting in a smidgen of quilting here and there. This one's for my niece who turns 1 in a couple of months. I've got some other's that I'm working on.... really three, but who's counting?! They'll get done eventually and it's all about therapy for me if you get right down to it.

I straight line quilted this one and kept it nice and light for that sweet girl. The better to mush between her teeny tiny fingers as she's falling asleep.

I had a ball doing straight line quilting! I always use free motion because I so love drawing with the thread. I like the way it came together though, and the quilting fit the look of the quilt. There's squares from the clothing of my kids in there because every baby quilt needs that "I heart you history part." Really, lots of the fabrics in the quilt hold different memories for me. It was a lovely way to share a chunk of us with this spirited, beautiful, not-so-new addition to our family.

Honey and bees

Oh... they keep us busy (the bees, I mean.) I've lost track of the number of swarms since this spring. I've also lost track of the number of gallons of honey we've harvested... 30, maybe? (Note that 4 year old ever so gently running his finger down the swarm of bees. Being raised with honey bees = complete comfort with them.)

It's just the busy time of year around here. Maybe it always is. Hmmm. Maybe that's not changing any day soon. Still, I love it.

All I need now is their infinite energy.

Food for thought

Our daughter made this appetizer all on her own and surprised us with her creation. She went to the garden, picked the peas and basil, brought them to the kitchen, and created a dip with olive oil and sea salt. She displayed all of this with her usual artistic flair. I was completely surprised, but I shouldn't have been. She has been raised with parents who love sharing good food, and she is an incredible artist.

That got me to thinking. Is it just who she is, or how we've raised her? If I'm honest with myself, it's probably a bit of both. When it comes to parenting, the whole thing is largely an intuitive process for me. Some days I have it, some days I don't. My husband and I are good parents who make mistakes. Despite the mistakes, it's gratifying to realize that some of the things we've done along the way have affected our children positively. For our kids, raising food and having honey bees is one of those things.

My first vegetable garden was one that I planted was 15 years ago. I remember then, that it seemed like some mystery. How could people grown such an abundance of food from a few packets of seeds? A couple of friends gave me advice, I read "Square Foot Gardening," and I dug up the grass in the back of our rental to create my vege patch. I was completely awed that we had so much zucchini that summer, I didn't know what to do with it all. (I made a whole heck of a lot of zucchini bread.) Suddenly, raising vegetables was no longer something other people did; it became what I did.

I've had vegetable gardens every summer since. Some gardens have been more prolific than others, and I've learned a ton along the way. My biggest advice would be"just do it!" It's really not that difficult and there is plenty of room for error. Plants are miraculous in their ability to grow. You don't have to do everything perfectly the way some gardening books make it sound. Just put a plant or seed in the ground or a pot. See what happens. See if it changes the rhythm of your days, or the way you view the world. Maybe it becomes the center of your summers with your children.

But, back to that parenting part. I often notice parents who spend a great deal of time reading parenting books, or planning the activities that will enhance their children's future abilities. I worry sometimes, if we are meeting our children's needs. Perhaps I need to read a book or two. Maybe they should be enrolled in more activities. I have times where I question myself as a parent relentlessly. Then there is some small moment that reminds me that as a family, we're on the right track. We have a rhythm that works well for us. Naturally setting an example for our children by the way we live is one of the greatest things we could teach them. So the fact that our lives are infused by our vegetable garden and our honeybees is an incredible education. We didn't necessarily plan that, but it's an extension of who we are. Our children know where there food comes from. They are a part of putting the seed in the ground. They understand the importance of bees in the pollination of their food. They are in the garden several times a day, observing, picking, and playing. Without realizing it, we have given them a lifestyle that meets their needs.

So how, you might ask, does one plate of appetizers generate all that thought in this mama? I don't really know. That's me, I guess. I wanted to write it down so that I could look back and remember how right this all feels... how perfect the presentation of her appetizer was in my life on that June evening when she was eight. I wanted to have a written reference for those days when my head gets going and I lose sight of my inner peace. That plate of sugar snap peas and basil gave me a sense of serenity.... a reminder that I need to stop worrying, let go, and enjoy the abundance that we have. Living in the moment, rather than worrying about the future, is all about relishing that plate of food that my daughter picked from our garden and beautifully prepared for her family. Really. For me... it is.

Turning 40!

I swear, 40 is the new 30, but it was a big deal for me. I'm not apologizing one bit. I went through a process with this one. It was something that I will value for years to come. A cliff notes version would be, "do I want to the next 4o years to replicate any/all of the same behaviors/choices as the first 4o years?" In the weeks leading up to the event of my birthday, I found myself feeling shaky, critical of myself, and low. It was kind of interesting. A month or so before that I had been feeling genuinely excited. Why the up and down?

In the end, my actual birthday weekend was just lovely. It was filled with my friends and family. There were sweet surprises, and caring gestures. It was everything that I could have hoped for. But there was more. I felt a shift within myself. I celebrated last weekend with another half marathon in the woods, this time by myself. It was equally as exhilarating as the last. I realized that I feel strong, loved, and I know where I want to go. In the last year, I have worked through a lot. In my lifetime.... well, I am proud of my accomplishments. They have all been hard earned, and I am graced by beauty and profound love almost every day.

So... the picture above? A mystery to you until now. That's me in the boat a mere 15 years ago, while my husband (friend at the time) watches me run a class V creek rapid on the narrows of the Green River in Western North Carolina. I have seen and done so much.... come so far. If you knew me today at the kids' schools, or at work, or in the grocery, you may never have guessed all there is to know about me in the past 40 years. The same is true for every single one of us in a variety of different ways. We all have pasts, we all have extraordinary moments, and we all have struggles. Living in the present is a constant mantra for me. But what if you dared to look deep into some one's eyes to know them more fully? If you did that with me, you would know the strength, feisty determination, and kindness all wrapped into one mama who turned 40 just a few short weeks ago.

Being a mama....

How does it happen? Eight years can fly by. I still remember the absolute awe I felt at the swelling of my belly. Now, here she is. Eight years later. So much has changed. She has. I have. We have. I now know love that extends from the crown of my head to the tip of my toes. Being a mother challenges me and simultaneously completes me.

I've got this beautiful, intelligent, extraordinary eight year old who still loves to wear the clothes her mama makes her on her birthday. She wears them every day with leggings and t-shirts. As long as she's into it, I'm making her clothes!

There are so many things about being a mama that I never could have imagined. Sometimes I'm tired and ordinary, sometimes I'm awesome. Once I had one, then there came two; that changed everything. It's a struggle at times to juggle it all. Kids have more energy than adults... that is a fact that I dare you to dispute. Hands down, the blog, comes last. But can I just tell you that in some way, all of it makes me who I am? And in the very same breath, I can tell you that I am a better mama thanks to the eight year old and four year old who have graced my life. So... skirts for my girl, as long as she wants them, and blog posts every so once in a while!

Morels

I've shared so many of our family traditions that it's hard to believe this one has never made it to my blog. One of the things that designates Spring for us is Morel hunting. It's an amazing thing to gather your food from the woods... food, might I add, that sells for over a $100 per pound. Lovely, earthy incredible morel mushrooms. (And I'm not the biggest mushroom fan on the planet.) In one haul this spring, my husband brought home 7 pounds! I have to tell you, it's kind of like Easter egg hunting, but on a much grander, more satisfying scale.

Friends of ours were here this weekend and they all went hunting. The kids were so excited to see what they brought home. We ate omelettes with Morel sauce, fish with Morels coating it, and a Morel white pizza with greek olives and roasted peppers. I'm still salivating over that pizza.

A quick recipe is to saute the morels in butter and olive oil with fresh chopped garlic and onions. Add in some white wine and reduce. Add in some sea salt, or truffle salt to taste. If you want a cream sauce, add half and half, or cream. If you want a clear sauce, add broth. You can skip both the broth and the cream sauce if you just want some sauteed morels to put over a dish. Have fun with it. You can't go wrong. It is oh, so good! (This approximation of a recipe is compliments of our friend who owns a pasta and wine shop.)

There are plenty of online sites that describe morels, how to find them, hunting with kids, and recipes. One is here. Maybe a new family tradition is waiting for you.