Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Camp Mommy

She only gets one camp during the summer.... it's been that way since she was old enough to attend a program. Our little guy? Next year will be his time. It's what we can afford, so the onus has always fallen on me to stimulate their creative minds and meet their needs. We have a pool membership and that gets lots of energy out in the first part of the day. (That we've done for 6 years... no regrets and $ well spent.) So what do we do every afternoon? There are play dates here and there, but then there's "Camp Heather."

This summer it has been playing board/card games, sewing, artwork, reading, building with Lego's. My little guy still gets some quiet time most days, which often results in him falling asleep. (We all need a break from his exuberance.) It's funny how now that I'm working and putting my energy towards other people's children (doing therapy), I'm valuing this time with my own kids so much more this summer. There was a time, not too long ago, when big chunks of summer were grueling for me. I was often short tempered with two young kids for long hours, and sorely in need of some time to myself. I find myself stressed by different things now.... work, schedules, logistics. I make time for myself by rising at 5:30 a.m. and running. I crave time at home with just our family. I sometimes don't want to talk to anybody; I just want to escape from the problems and business of the world. I have to take deep breaths even more often these days, but it's in an effort to keep up with the pace of our busy schedule.

When did it all shift? I missed the delineating moment. Here we are, eight years later, and time spent with her in the afternoons is what can be so settling for me. Swimming in the pool with him can be the thing that brings joy to my day. Pinch me. It's all going too fast. Still, I'm far from perfect and one exhausted mommy at the end of every day. I want to hang on to it all and I'm driven to live every moment, even the difficult ones. My, what full moments they have been. How lucky I am to be at home with them, working part-time and not full-time. I remind myself every time I feel tired, stressed, or envious of others. I have a good life, indeed.... yes, I do.


Lynda Halliger-Otvos said...

What a lovely tribute to motherhood and love. Thanks for sharing this with us.

Melissa said...

Sounds like you have found the elusive balance-- I always know when I'm in the sweet spot because I'm suddenly filled with patience, instead of resentment.

Anonymous said...

I know what ya mean about the time flying.

we are trying to enjoy every last ounce of summer.

good for you for running. i need a flame under my butt.