Turning 40!

I swear, 40 is the new 30, but it was a big deal for me. I'm not apologizing one bit. I went through a process with this one. It was something that I will value for years to come. A cliff notes version would be, "do I want to the next 4o years to replicate any/all of the same behaviors/choices as the first 4o years?" In the weeks leading up to the event of my birthday, I found myself feeling shaky, critical of myself, and low. It was kind of interesting. A month or so before that I had been feeling genuinely excited. Why the up and down?

In the end, my actual birthday weekend was just lovely. It was filled with my friends and family. There were sweet surprises, and caring gestures. It was everything that I could have hoped for. But there was more. I felt a shift within myself. I celebrated last weekend with another half marathon in the woods, this time by myself. It was equally as exhilarating as the last. I realized that I feel strong, loved, and I know where I want to go. In the last year, I have worked through a lot. In my lifetime.... well, I am proud of my accomplishments. They have all been hard earned, and I am graced by beauty and profound love almost every day.

So... the picture above? A mystery to you until now. That's me in the boat a mere 15 years ago, while my husband (friend at the time) watches me run a class V creek rapid on the narrows of the Green River in Western North Carolina. I have seen and done so much.... come so far. If you knew me today at the kids' schools, or at work, or in the grocery, you may never have guessed all there is to know about me in the past 40 years. The same is true for every single one of us in a variety of different ways. We all have pasts, we all have extraordinary moments, and we all have struggles. Living in the present is a constant mantra for me. But what if you dared to look deep into some one's eyes to know them more fully? If you did that with me, you would know the strength, feisty determination, and kindness all wrapped into one mama who turned 40 just a few short weeks ago.

Being a mama....

How does it happen? Eight years can fly by. I still remember the absolute awe I felt at the swelling of my belly. Now, here she is. Eight years later. So much has changed. She has. I have. We have. I now know love that extends from the crown of my head to the tip of my toes. Being a mother challenges me and simultaneously completes me.

I've got this beautiful, intelligent, extraordinary eight year old who still loves to wear the clothes her mama makes her on her birthday. She wears them every day with leggings and t-shirts. As long as she's into it, I'm making her clothes!

There are so many things about being a mama that I never could have imagined. Sometimes I'm tired and ordinary, sometimes I'm awesome. Once I had one, then there came two; that changed everything. It's a struggle at times to juggle it all. Kids have more energy than adults... that is a fact that I dare you to dispute. Hands down, the blog, comes last. But can I just tell you that in some way, all of it makes me who I am? And in the very same breath, I can tell you that I am a better mama thanks to the eight year old and four year old who have graced my life. So... skirts for my girl, as long as she wants them, and blog posts every so once in a while!

Morels

I've shared so many of our family traditions that it's hard to believe this one has never made it to my blog. One of the things that designates Spring for us is Morel hunting. It's an amazing thing to gather your food from the woods... food, might I add, that sells for over a $100 per pound. Lovely, earthy incredible morel mushrooms. (And I'm not the biggest mushroom fan on the planet.) In one haul this spring, my husband brought home 7 pounds! I have to tell you, it's kind of like Easter egg hunting, but on a much grander, more satisfying scale.

Friends of ours were here this weekend and they all went hunting. The kids were so excited to see what they brought home. We ate omelettes with Morel sauce, fish with Morels coating it, and a Morel white pizza with greek olives and roasted peppers. I'm still salivating over that pizza.

A quick recipe is to saute the morels in butter and olive oil with fresh chopped garlic and onions. Add in some white wine and reduce. Add in some sea salt, or truffle salt to taste. If you want a cream sauce, add half and half, or cream. If you want a clear sauce, add broth. You can skip both the broth and the cream sauce if you just want some sauteed morels to put over a dish. Have fun with it. You can't go wrong. It is oh, so good! (This approximation of a recipe is compliments of our friend who owns a pasta and wine shop.)

There are plenty of online sites that describe morels, how to find them, hunting with kids, and recipes. One is here. Maybe a new family tradition is waiting for you.

Happy Earth Day and Easter!

taken from a Tasha Tudor book that was a part of my childhood

I have so much to show and tell, but it's that time of year isn't it? We're busy planting whenever we can, and life just keeps on clipping along. I have some sewing projects and a quilt to share. Just now, though, we're boiling eggs after quite the Earth Day celebration. Have a wonderful weekend with your family and friends! See you back in this space soon.

Friendship and Running

I never post pictures of myself on my blog, so why I would start doing so with a picture taken after 13.1 miles is beyond me. I must still be on a runner's high. It was just so amazing. I loved every minute of the run. Running is something I started doing in junior high. I remember seeing my friend's mom jogging around the block. My brain went "click." "Oh," I thought. "I could do that too." I was already a soccer player, but it had never occurred to me that you could go running in your neighborhood with no other purpose than to make it from point A to point B. I was hooked. It became my therapy, and it still is today. It just makes me feel sooooo good. I signed up for this Half Marathon back in January. The run took place on my sister's death date and I figured it would be a way to celebrate instead of feeling sad. I didn't know another soul running it, but I signed up anyway. I have run by myself for years. I haven't had a running partner since my last one left the country more than a dozen years ago. (Don't raise your eyebrows. She didn't leave because of me!) The thing is, due to my fear of dogs thanks to this, I was running whenever I thought no one else would be on the trails. For instance, when it was 25 degrees early in the morning instead of a balmy 5o degrees in the afternoons. I was determined to keep running no matter how bad my fears were. All that changed when Liz and I started running together. She became the one who boosted my confidence about dog encounters and literally shielded me with her body by passing between the dogs and me. I was initially ashamed and embarassed that she had become a witness to my panicked encounters with dogs. Always, she made me feel normal as I struggled to work through the PTSD from the dog attack. Now, can you ask more from a friend and running partner than that? I am so grateful.

So, you can read all about her account of the Half Marathon and our friendship here on her blog. Just know, though, that I'm counting my lucky stars that she's been with me on all those training runs. She's one of the reasons I'm able to pass a dog without shaking uncontrollably, crying, or hiding behind trees. She's been a part of helping me to do something that has been bigger and harder than a Half Marathon (because the PTSD was really that bad for me a few short months ago.) She's been the friend that I couldn't have done it without. Thank YOU, Liz. Here's to years of friendship and running.

finished!

Here it is! My latest quilt. It took me almost a year to complete, but who's counting. It's funny how hesitant I am to share any of my quilts on my blog. I am not prolific, nor extremely accomplished, but I do so love patchwork and free motion quilting.

This one is for close friends. In memory of their son, Alexander Oak. I quilted a tree in the middle and leaves throughout.

A quilt is the one way I know how to extend comfort to friends whose loss is beyond my imagination. Quilts are made to provide healing and happiness in my mind.

I fell in love with the backing. Lonni Rossi. She is so talented. This print seemed to embrace the cycle of life. I used fabrics predominantly by her with the exception of a few batiks and Aboriginal prints.

So, I've sewn the sleeve on the back for a wall hanging and the threads are snipped. Now, it's just ready to be delivered to it's new home. Have a great weekend, everyone!

Happy First Day of Spring!

My sister was here for a week. She was the laundry fairy that I have always dreamed of having. Well, actually, you will be incredibly jealous to hear that she also cooked, cleaned, and helped with kids. It was a dream come true, and really, words can not express the gratitude I feel.

I greeted this day with a sense of excitement, hope in my heart, and laundry conquered. I love spring.