Survivor's Day

Today is Dia De Los Muertos, the Day of the Dead. I am not Latin American, but found myself contemplating the holiday on this morning's run. Leaves littered the trail, and more were falling in the bright sunlight. The transition to winter was occurring before my eyes. I thought about those that have died in my life. That mixture of emotions that always accompanies such thoughts flowed through me, left behind with each stride. Then, I started thinking about parts of myself that have died, and been reborn. I started thinking in terms of all the seasons of change in my life, the many things that I have survived whether it was trauma from a dog attack, or my sister's suicide. I visualized all people in the world, and thought about how each of us is a survivor. We've all had struggles, illnesses, traumas, abuses, losses, defeats, challenges, heart break .... things that we have survived. I started thinking, "why don't we have a day that we call 'Survivor's Day?'" You know.... a day that we all celebrate being resilient, being strong, being hopeful, and nurturing every person's ability to rise above life's challenges. So, for me, every year, November 1, Dia De Los Muertos will be the day of the dead in which I celebrate the resilience of the human spirit and the beauty of living.... Survivor's Day.

These days...

I'm clinging to the last flowers of summer....

More than a little bummed that I couldn't do the Asheville Half Marathon with my running partner this weekend due to plantar fascitis that just will not go away....

Sewing tons for the November show because it hurts to be on my feet too much....
excuses, excuses, excuses.

Feeling pretty grateful and content, all things considered.

Goodbye, summer.

I can feel the long summer days sliding into fall.

This year, it went by so quickly.

I'm going to miss these beauties.

A quilt for my sweet boy

In the last two weeks, my little guy turned 5 and started Kindergarten! I can just barely wrap my mind around this. When we arrived at the door of his classroom on the first day, he stopped and said, "mom... I don't need you anymore." My heart did a flip flop, but I quickly recovered, knelt down and said, "okay, buddy, so you don't want me to come in the classroom with you?" He replied, "Nope... I got it." So... I gave him a huge hug, and watched him walk into his first elementary classroom (that was filled with the other parents and their kids.) I walked about halfway down the hill from the school before my thoughtful smile turned into tears. My baby is in Kindergarten, and he is soooo ready. I felt many different emotions just as I had when my first went to Kindergarten. This time, though, it was mostly a feeling of excitement for him.






A few days later, I got to bring Popsicles to the classroom for his birthday. The teacher greeted me and told me she couldn't believe that he was the youngest in the class. She told me that he was one of "the most with it" kids in the class and that he was doing awesome. Maybe teachers say this to parents all the time, but it meant so much to me. I have agonized about the decision to send him to Kindergarten when he would turn 5 after it started. The thing is, all indicators in every area point to the fact that he is completely ready. I can't tell you though, how strongly the majority of public opinion is slanted towards delayed start for our boys, ready or not. Everybody and their brother has expressed this opinion to me, which really is too bad. It's none of their business and it is hurtful. So I've held my head high, listened to my inner voice, watched for any signs that I got it wrong, and cheered him as he bounces in and out of the door to school each day.




I had hoped to have this quilt done by his birthday, but you know how it is. Instead, I gave him a stack of 20 improv log cabin squares that I've constructed over the past year. It was really so sweet to watch him carefully look at each one with his sister. He was over the moon that I'm making him a twin quilt for his bed. Now, I'm in the process of sewing on the sashing... Kona snow cotton. I'll explain that process when I get the top completely done and show it to you. My friend, Katie at sewkatiedid gave me the suggestion. (She's so smart!)

So this morning is really the first morning I've had to myself since they both started school. I decided to give myself a few hours for what I'm calling a mini-vacation since I never really had one this summer. It feels so good to let go and sew just for fun. I think I could definitely get used to this!

Camp Mommy

She only gets one camp during the summer.... it's been that way since she was old enough to attend a program. Our little guy? Next year will be his time. It's what we can afford, so the onus has always fallen on me to stimulate their creative minds and meet their needs. We have a pool membership and that gets lots of energy out in the first part of the day. (That we've done for 6 years... no regrets and $ well spent.) So what do we do every afternoon? There are play dates here and there, but then there's "Camp Heather."

This summer it has been playing board/card games, sewing, artwork, reading, building with Lego's. My little guy still gets some quiet time most days, which often results in him falling asleep. (We all need a break from his exuberance.) It's funny how now that I'm working and putting my energy towards other people's children (doing therapy), I'm valuing this time with my own kids so much more this summer. There was a time, not too long ago, when big chunks of summer were grueling for me. I was often short tempered with two young kids for long hours, and sorely in need of some time to myself. I find myself stressed by different things now.... work, schedules, logistics. I make time for myself by rising at 5:30 a.m. and running. I crave time at home with just our family. I sometimes don't want to talk to anybody; I just want to escape from the problems and business of the world. I have to take deep breaths even more often these days, but it's in an effort to keep up with the pace of our busy schedule.


When did it all shift? I missed the delineating moment. Here we are, eight years later, and time spent with her in the afternoons is what can be so settling for me. Swimming in the pool with him can be the thing that brings joy to my day. Pinch me. It's all going too fast. Still, I'm far from perfect and one exhausted mommy at the end of every day. I want to hang on to it all and I'm driven to live every moment, even the difficult ones. My, what full moments they have been. How lucky I am to be at home with them, working part-time and not full-time. I remind myself every time I feel tired, stressed, or envious of others. I have a good life, indeed.... yes, I do.

Summertime sewing

In between eating from our garden, working part-time, pool visits, running, and bike riding with the kids, I've been fitting in a smidgen of quilting here and there. This one's for my niece who turns 1 in a couple of months. I've got some other's that I'm working on.... really three, but who's counting?! They'll get done eventually and it's all about therapy for me if you get right down to it.

I straight line quilted this one and kept it nice and light for that sweet girl. The better to mush between her teeny tiny fingers as she's falling asleep.

I had a ball doing straight line quilting! I always use free motion because I so love drawing with the thread. I like the way it came together though, and the quilting fit the look of the quilt. There's squares from the clothing of my kids in there because every baby quilt needs that "I heart you history part." Really, lots of the fabrics in the quilt hold different memories for me. It was a lovely way to share a chunk of us with this spirited, beautiful, not-so-new addition to our family.

Honey and bees

Oh... they keep us busy (the bees, I mean.) I've lost track of the number of swarms since this spring. I've also lost track of the number of gallons of honey we've harvested... 30, maybe? (Note that 4 year old ever so gently running his finger down the swarm of bees. Being raised with honey bees = complete comfort with them.)

It's just the busy time of year around here. Maybe it always is. Hmmm. Maybe that's not changing any day soon. Still, I love it.

All I need now is their infinite energy.